Adam i Eva al jardí de l'Edèn

Un relat de: Silent

Aquell *ens o déu, va condicionar i guarnir un llogaret erm, talment com es fa un pessebre; va plantar arbres de tot tipus, encatifà prats verds amb gespa natural, va fer rierols, estanys i també va crear els animals; de totes les espècies -menys un-, i va anomenar-ho "El jardí de l'Edèn"; (per la costa hi ha uns quants hotels que es diuen així en la seva memòria).
Va regalar-ho a l'homenet de sota el garrofer i la senyora costella, als qui va anomenar Adam i Eva i ara ve el més interessant, va dir-los que campessin *lliures (estranya paraula).
La parelleta passejava feliç; s'alimentaven amb els deliciosos fruits que allí hi creixien, cantaven plegats, es miraven encantats i així vivien, envoltats d'aquella meravella amb tota naturalitat...
El deuet es passava el temps observant-los dissimuladament, disfressat d'ull incrustat en un cartabó (origen del voieurisme i naixement de l'art abstracte) i el divertia molt; fins que un dia es va torbar, en veure com la feliç parella s'acoblava -copulaven- talment com els altres éssers vius i no li va fer gens de gràcia. A ells sí que els feia molta gràcia i es passaven el dia rient -manera de dir dels esquimals a tenir relacions sexuals.
Va dir-los que això no ho havien de fer, que només les bèsties feien aquestes coses, que a ells els tenia reservada una altra tasca (?!).
A la nostra parella els havia agradat molt això de jugar a acoblar-se i s'amagaven, però els va tornar a enxampar i el deuó entrà en còlera, amenaçant-los de fer-los fora del paradís.
Els joves li van prometre que no ho tornarien a fer, però l'ens, que era malfiat de mena, va crear l'últim animal (el -menys un-), per temptar a l'Adam i l'Eva i així posar-los a prova i... (música de fons d'efecte desconcertant)...va crear la serp!
La serpeta, que es va enamorar a l'instant d'aquell cartabó amb ull, va idear una estratègia per poder ser ella la reina del paradís i va fabricar una poma de testosterona -preciosa com cap altra- i es va presentar a l'Eva com si la conegués de tota la vida.
-Ep, Eva...com va això?
-Hola...ui, a tu no et conec...
-Jo sóc la serp
-Quina gràcia, no t'havia vist!
-No oi? És que sóc nova...
-Ah...I què, t'agrada l'Edèn?
-Psè...què vols que et digui...he vist llocs millors fora d'aquest paradís.
-Ah sí?
-Mira, si l'Adam i tu us mengeu aquesta poma tan maca, veureu els llocs més meravellosos de l'univers i podreu riure tan com vulgueu.

És clar que no cal explicar el final.

Allà al Paradís, s'hi està una serp enroscada a un cartabó amb un ull incrustat. (Tinc foto)

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