LA FUGIDA (IV ETAPA)

Un relat de: MariaM
El dia d’ahir se’m va fer molt llarg i més dur, encara; vaig acabar amb els peus nafrats. Aquestes nafres són les úniques que van veure els companys de ruta amb qui, ja tard, vam coincidir de nou a l’alberg.
Els peus nafrats van ser l’excusa evident que justifiqués el meu estat d’ànim. A mesura que transcorrien les hores, m’havia atrinxerat en una solitud voluntària, havia baixat de nivell, i no sabia com remuntar. Les nafres físiques no eren gran cosa comparades amb les que em feien mal interiorment.
L’addicció a un cos és el resultat de la més dolça, però, també de la més perillosa de les drogues i, la síndrome d’abstinència és brutal. Es pot dir que jo no havia arribat a ser-ne, d’addicta, no pas per falta de ganes, sinó per manca d’oportunitats i de temps. Sens dubte, estic molt vulnerable, i l’encontre del matí me’n fa sentir molt més, encara. La memòria és el jutge del qual no podem escapar.
Anit, sí, vaig poder escapar-me d’explicar el conte, possiblement, tot i la seva discreció, van adonar-se, les dones, sobretot, del meu estat, més enllà de les nafres, prou comuns entre els pelegrins poc avesats. Em van suggerir que anés a descansar. La nit no ha sigut millor que la jornada. Certament, no he pogut escapar-me de l’autocrítica, del desig, de la bogeria d’aquella nit, que havia intentat oblidar amb una fugida inútil.
Al final del dia, no sé amb quins del grup coincidiré, per bé que, siguin quins siguin, el costum d’exercir de relataire durant el Camino està molt estès, sempre n’hi ha algun a cada grup. Els contes solen ser de por, de terror, gairebé. Els meus, pocs, són més aviat trivials, de vivències d’altri, per suposat; si els expliqués les meves, les més recents, ja fora diferent; tal vegada em rebutjarien per transgressora. Així és com em vaig veure anit mentre intentava dormir.
Per si de cas, en tindré un de preparat. Alguna anècdota, de la tieta, es clar! Quina sort he tingut de què fos tan innocentment divertida!

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